


blink back to let me know

by dream_was_not_taken



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Always, Blink Back to let me know, Hurt/Comfort, It was always you - Freeform, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Post-Split, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie - Freeform, Ryden, Self Harm, Vices and Virtues, brendon is just lonely, haven't decided yet, i'll add more tags as im writing probably, im shit at tagging so hi, oh yeah the band may or may not get back together haven't decided yet, okay im done wasting your time, ryan is sad, ryan misses brendon so bad, they need each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21560578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_was_not_taken/pseuds/dream_was_not_taken
Summary: ryan receives a package one day and it holds an album full of songs written about him.orbrendon sends ryan vices and virtues once it drops and tells him to listen to always and then call himand then they realise they need each other more than everim shit at summaries i promise the story is good
Relationships: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Kudos: 24





	blink back to let me know

It came to him in the mail. He had been aware of it, sure, the internet does exist, no matter how badly he doesn’t want it too. He just wasn’t expecting it. He hadn’t even opened the package yet, but he knew what it was. Who it was from.  
What else would Brendon be sending him besides his clothes or maybe something of his that Ryan had left there, once upon a time, back when they shared everything- clothes, a band, a bed, kisses. Just staring at the unopened package of mystery brought back memories; brought him back to those times when he was younger and dumb. Back when he was in love.  
He stares at the return address on the package. The writing looked hesitant. Had Brendon considered not even putting one? Brendon knew Ryan wouldn’t do that. Or maybe he would have. He knows the anxieties constantly floating about Brendon’s head, but he also knows that not even Ryan is cruel enough to send the package back. (Brendon once described Ryan as cruel, but not that cruel. Nowhere near that.)  
Maybe Brendon doesn’t know that. Maybe.  
Ryan wasn’t really expecting to get any clothes back. They were probably in the back of Brendon’s closet for the lonely nights. The clothes probably still smelled like him. He regrets sending Brendon that hoodie. At the time, Ryan couldn’t stand to see it in his closet, haunting him. Reminding him of the time that Brendon was his. But then again, Brendon wasn’t his anymore. He had passive-aggressively thrown it in a box, taped it, wrote down the address that was burned back into his memory (maybe writing a return address was counter-productive; if Ryan had wanted to send it back he knew exactly where it should go), and dropped it off at the post office.   
Later that night, when his apartment was cold and he was alone, he regretted it. He needed that reminder more than ever.   
He sits there staring at it for a minute before finally moving to open it.  
It’s an album, of course, but there’s a little note taped to the back of the album. It’s addressed to him. On the front of the album there’s a stick note that reads:  
Listen to the rest of the album later. If you even want too. Skip to track 14, listen to it and then read the note. :)  
That fucking smiley face. He goes over to his cd player and, as he’s told, skips to track fourteen. 

When the world gets too heavy  
Put it on my back,  
I'll be your levy.

You are taking me apart  
Like bad glue on a get well card.

It was always you  
Falling for me.  
Now there's always time.

Calling for me.  
I'm the light  
Blinking at the end of the road.

Blink back to let me know.

I'm a fly that's trapped

In a web  
But I'm thinking that  
My spider's dead.

Lonely, lonely little life.  
I could kid myself  
By thinking that I'm fine.

It was always you  
Falling for me.

Now there's always time.  
Calling for me.  
I'm the light

Blinking at the end of the road.  
Blink back to let me know.

That I'm skin and bone.  
Just a cane and rusty throne.  
All the castle's under siege.

But the sign outside says leave me alone.

It was always you

Falling for me.  
Now there's always time.  
Calling for me.

I'm the light  
Blinking at the end of the road.  
Blink back to let me know.

Slowly, almost painfully, Ryan reached for the note. He braced himself for what it would say.

blink back to let me know :)  
(xxx) xxx-xxxx

Oh yeah. Ryan forgot Brendon changed his number after they broke up. He actually just got an entire new phone. Ryan just sighed before searching around for his phone. He couldn’t believe that he was about to call Brendon of all people.   
He was moving in slow motion as he punched in the number.

“Ryan,”  
“How did you know it was me?”  
“I know you.”  
Ryan just hummed. If the situation was switched, Ryan would know just as well.  
“Did you actually listen to the song? Or did you just open the note and completely disregard the instructions?” There’s a smirk to his voice, the fucker.   
“No, I actually listened to the song this time.”   
When Brendon speaks again, Ryan can hear the smile.  
“What did you think of it?”  
“I liked it, it was nice.”  
There’s a few moments of silence that felt like a lifetime ten times over. That is until Ryan finally says,  
“I missed you too, you fuckwad.”   
Brendon laughs. Ryan missed making him laugh.   
“Do you like, wanna come over? Bring your guitar? Jam out?”

No insinuation of it being a date or anything. This is doable, Ryan thinks. He knows he really shouldn’t do this. This is dangerous territory. If he does this, if he goes to see Brendon, he can’t stop himself from falling again. He knows that.  
He can’t fall again. That’s too dangerous. Too not-allowed. You’re not allowed to fall for your ex-boyfriend/ friend/ bandmate. Not allowed. Not allowed. Not allowed.   
“Sure. What’s your address?” He says anyways, and fuck, does he know this is dangerous. They both do, but they don’t care.  
They need each other. They figured that out the moment they left each others lives, unable to function, having been dependent on each other for so long.  
He gets the address and hangs up. He sits there, for a minute before grabbing his guitar case and heading out the door.


End file.
